A New Life in the Netherlands: Why I Don’t Miss the US
Leaving the US changed my entire life. Of course moving halfway across the world would change anyone’s life. But in my particular situation, I was able to start with a brand new identity — someone that nobody had ever met before. I went from a badass, leather jacket-wearing, motorcycle-riding, car mechanic in conservative America to one of the most progressive countries in the world with its main mode of transportation being a 10-year-old bicycle with a bent rim.
I am very lucky. I have privilege that most other Americans don’t have. I have an Italian passport, and with this, the EU has lots of opportunities for me. So I traded my motorcycle for that hideous 10-year-old bicycle, my mechanic gloves for a laptop, and my leather jacket for a rainproof poncho. I started the Social Psychology Research Master’s programme at the VU after spending almost 10 years in the car industry. I was tired of the long, sweaty days in the southern US and I wanted to follow my dream of being a researcher. And so, I started my new life in Amsterdam.
Let’s be honest here. Amsterdam is an international city, so the transition wasn’t as bad as I expected (though I did get lost in the airport when I arrived because apparently I couldn’t read English signs either). But there was definitely a bit of a culture shock. American music is certainly prominent here and cuss words on public radio? No big deal. I guess the idea is that Dutch kids don’t understand English until they’re old enough to use profanity anyway. The Dutch are also known for being very direct — to the point that many expats complain that they’re offended when they’re on the receiving end of criticism. I, on the other hand, very much appreciate this. It’s certainly caught me off guard before and made me question if that person was just really rude, but it’s kind of nice to know exactly where you stand with someone. While Americans are known to be fake nice, the Dutch will never stray away from telling you what they really think of you.
This brings me to my next point: customer service. It is completely nonexistent in the Netherlands. Whereas in the US, you can easily get free things if you complain enough (I’ve never done this, but I’ve heard of this happening very often), these Dutch companies don’t feel that they owe you anything, even if they did something wrong! My partner went through a whole debacle when purchasing a camera lens — let’s just say that we’re never buying from that company again. But I do appreciate that generally, people here make a living wage. Can’t say the same for most “non-skilled” work in the US, which forces its employees to live on tips. And to be honest, restaurant prices here in Amsterdam are the same as they are in Fayetteville, North Carolina, so we know what’s really going on with restaurant wages in the US.
Amsterdam is known for many things, but the most popular (at least among my American friends) is that sex and drugs are legal… well, sort of. Yes, full-service sex work is legal and you can walk into any “coffeeshop” and buy a couple grams of marijuana, but there are some restrictions, so please research the laws here before making a visit to the Red Light District. And don’t go into a coffeeshop expecting to have a nice cappuccino.
Though people always seem to think that crime rates are rising (not sure if they’re actually rising or if we just spend too much time consuming negative media, but that’s a whole different topic), Amsterdam is still MUCH safer than Fayetteville. In fact, it’s safer to walk alone at night in Amsterdam than it is to walk alone in broad daylight in Fayetteville. I’ve biked alone at night in Amsterdam and never feared for my life. But when I lived in Fayetteville, I rarely left my apartment after dark, even if I was with a group of people. I don’t know if it’s how people are raised or if it’s because there’s an abundance of green spaces, but there’s definitely less violent crime in the Netherlands than in NC.
While times have changed a lot over the last few decades, many women living in the Netherlands still enjoy spending time at the beach topless. Please don’t make them uncomfortable — I promise that they do not want to be sexualized; they just don’t want tan lines when they wear a tank top.
When it comes to healthcare, I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback. Health insurance is compulsory and costs about €110 per month. Quite disappointing when compared to other European countries. Though there are no “hidden costs” and pretty much everything is covered, so out-of-pocket expenses really are just limited to the €385 annual deductible. When I lived in the US and had health insurance, I paid about $65 per month, had a $5,000 deductible, and it literally covered nothing except a GP, which still had a $25 co-pay. The Dutch system has its issues, but it’s still decent when you look at the whole package. And hey, at least I don’t have to worry about owing Duke Hospital $30,000 for a one-night stay after a concussion.
The most impressive thing about the Netherlands (and most EU countries) is its work-life balance. It’s not uncommon for employees to take a day off on the first nice day of Spring just because it’s warm. Or for mental health days/weeks when they feel burnt out. Oh, and these days are paid. Employees have actual rights here, unlike the US. Your boss can’t just fire you because of whatever reason they manage to come up with. Here, there’s a whole process and employees are protected unless they REALLY mess up (like if they steal). All employees are entitled to paid vacation (at least 20 days per year, though most employers provide 25 days) — even part-time employees are entitled to a certain amount of paid vacation days. And let’s not forget the holiday allowance, which entitles employees to 8% of their annual salary on top of their regular income (basically, employees get an additional one month’s paycheck). So not only do they get 4+ weeks of paid vacation, they also get an extra month’s worth of cash! And while Americans like to think that taxes are extremely high in Europe, that’s not really the case unless you’re making a lot of money anyway.
I no longer work 60+ hours per week. I no longer worry about my safety. I no longer worry about debt, especially medical debt. I’ve learned that my bicycle provides me with as much happiness as my motorcycle did. While I miss some aspects of the US (Texas Roadhouse, I love you and miss you dearly), nothing compares to the life I have here. Sometimes I feel a bit of survivor’s guilt in a sense, because many of my friends long to leave the US but are just unable to for one reason or another. But I refuse to go back to a place that brought me so much grief. I love my job. I love the life my partner and I have built here. And learning Dutch isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I have to admit though, I can’t wait to embrace that motorcycle life again one day soon. My bicycle can only get me so far.
